Simple things

It's Autumn now. I'm starting finally to realize who I am, but even still I have no idea.
I read something today, and I really liked it so I thought I would write it here. Fancy that. "Keep moving, life doesn't stop for anyone."
That's something that everyone seriously needs to think about. I know we all have our shit days. We all have had those times where we just want to sleep and forget about things for a little while. But the thing is; we can't. We have to keep going no matter how hard it might be, because if we don't things won't turn out like we would have wanted them to. It's stange that I'm writing this because I know I'm the exact kind of person that just drops things all at once and gives up. But lately I've been trying to keep on going. I'm not depressed or anything at all, actually I'm great. I just read that today, and it made me think.
On another note, I just watched Sex and the City tonight and I absolutely love that movie. I love that show. AAaaaahhh. Except it made me miss my boyfriend, because he's in Toronto right now. I'm such a sentimental person sometimes, gaaaah.

OH! The other day I was thrift shopping and I found the bestbestbest cowboy style boots ever. Seriously, I'm in love with them. 17 dollars, heeeeck yes! Also, the prettiest scarf ever, and some neat vintage jewlery. yaaaaaa!
It's bath time now. I have to read Breaking Dawn. I have to, even though it's terrible. Hahaha

fwerrrp

I was just reading my earlier blog posts... and I am so negative sometimes! But as we all know, it's hard not to be when you're upset. And the only time I seem to post is when I am. Anyways!
It's currently 12:21 am and I am exhausted, but I'm a procrastinator and haven't finished my homework yet. It's okay, though. I'm writing something for writer's craft. We have to make up statements about writing. I like this one that I came up with. "Writers lead you through the myriad magic of wordplay." Hmm.

I was planning to write a good, large chunk of blog. I'm not going to though, due to exhaustion and the fact that this homework will never get done if I do. Night!

whyyy am I so fucking insecure?

CUBANANANA

So it's officially summer. And I'm so glad. Except I already had my Cuba trip, and I want to go back. It was sooo nice. All inclusive, parties every single night, I met a whole bunch of awesome people... etc etc. Oh and I got a sweet tan. But seriously. When I came back home life just seemed so mediocre, because I didn't have any bahama mamas to drink whenever I wanted, I couldn't just lay down on a beach chair in the ocean... It made me a little sad. But I'm over it now. Minus the fact that I'm sick.. I think. I have these crazy weird stomach pains and they affect my appetite and stuff. I hope I don't have some sort of Cuban virus. Haha, yeah right. But yeah. I had a good trip.
On the plus side, I've had this entire week off from work also, and I've just been going places with my mom and with my boyfriend. It's nice. Tomorrow I'm going to the beach! I haven't been to the beach yet this summer. (Minus the whole week I spent by the ocean in Cuba, but I mean at home.) So we're going to the beach and it should be pretty nice. I can keep up my sick tan ;) hahaha
Anyways, the only reason I made this entry is because I'm up in my old computer room cleaning it, because it's a mess. And my old computer was calling my name and it's actually working a lot better than my stupid laptop right now.
So there you go. I'll post more later. Perhaps pictures from Cuba! ....Maybe.

abcdefg

I don't know if anyone reads this.
But I am so so so so upset right now. All my thoughts are really jumbly right now so if anyone does actually read this, it might make little to no sense. Sorry.
Anyways.
I just feel like my boyfriend should know when I'm upset, and try to make me feel better. He usually just gets mad that I'm upset, or if something is bothering me. It bothers me more.
I don't know... I'm stressed to the max right now, I have too much stuff on my plate to deal with at the moment. Way too much. It's hard... because I don't think I've cared for someone as much as I do for him, and I guess I'm just terrified I'll lose him. I know that's a crazy far shot but I don't know why else I would get bothered over things like him going out to a party without me. Is that weird? I don't know. Maybe it's because it's 1:30am and I have an exam tomorrow morning. But when I'm upset I can't sleep. Plus I had coffee, but that was so long ago. I don't know why it's affecting me now. I'm going to try to sleep though.
On a lighter note, prom is next week and I'm leaving for Cuba in about a week. I'll just try to think about that for the next 5 days.

awaiting summer

I'm really tired but there was a cat in heat outside my window so I couldn't sleep. She's gone now, I think. I hope.
I'm reading a really good book right now. It's called The Pact by Jodi Picoult and I think that if you are reading this right now, go read that book. It's awesome.
Summer is soon. So is my trip to Cuba and I couldn't be any more excited. I just want to get all these projects out of the way, and exams. Then I have prom (wow) and Cuba.. and summer. Life will be good/amazing in all of like, three-ish weeks. :)
Oh and I've been noticing that I always have to make a reason or apology for making a video, or explain why I haven't been making one.. or whatever. My YouTube account is my corner of the internet world, and I'll do as I want on it. I do want to please my subscribers of course... it's awesome that anyone even wants to watch my videos. But it's my account and I will post whatever comes to my mind.
I don't know why I said that, haha, it just came to my mind.
The cat is gone now, I'm going to bed. Or I'll read more. Probably read til I pass out.
Night!

STRESSIN'

I have so much schoolwork to do.
I’m going to make a list. Disregard this, if you want. Or sympathize for me.
End of the year sucks.
- English ISU Essay and 15 minute presentation
- Philosophy 25 minute seminar on Isaac Newton
- Challenge and Change experiment. (This one won’t be too bad I think because I have a partner. But then I have a test on the 5th. Sdjshjkgsdhgjks)

I'm recycled.

On the weekend I drunkenly fell into a blue bin and said I was recycled. I don't remember.
Life is really stressful right now, but I have an amazing boyfriend, so it's okay.
I don't have much else to say.
Bye!

fuuuughhh

I don't know anymore.

hello sunshine

So it's some crazy rediculous time but I'm updating. (2:24 am to be exact.)

I just love the beginning of spring, because I know summer's coming. The trees outside are all starting to get leaves and for some reason that just makes me so happy :). Maybe that's normal... but it's been such a long winter and I long for my summer tan and shorts and flip flops. I long for late nights out when you can just hangout outdoors with your friends and not have to worry about getting home, because walking is always an option. I long for lazy days of sleeping in, then sitting outside in the warmth and reading a girly magazine. I long for really hot days when you get sunburnt, and your hair gets a little lighter. Hurry up summer! I need you!

On another note, I love four hour naps in the middle of the day. And I also love getting dressed up. Which is what next Friday is for. I'll explain later.

Goodnight, internet.

lists are nice

So I:
- got my wisdom teeth out, as of right now there are holes in my mouth and stitches which makes it very hard to eat anything, I still can't eat solid food
- am excited that the weather is beautiful outside
- am falling behind in school a little bit, because I am a procrastinator
- need to decide on a few things
- am wondering about youtube, fuuhghhh
- need to buy that cute top I saw today
and I need to go to bed earlier.

Today is an amazing day, for the weather. 25 degrees and sunny, all day. Beautiful.
Except I'm going to spend an hour of today in a dentist's chair getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I'm not looking forward to that. Oh well. I hope it won't hurt too much.
I've been really lagging on the whlole YouTube thing for some reason... I don't know why. I have 100 subscribers though, and that is sweeeeeeeeet.
My neck and head hurts... I think it's because my cat slept with me last night and he sleeps on my pillow. Guhhhhh

I wish I was just at school today so I could skip the afternoon and sit outside and not have to worry about being scared for the dentist. OH WELL.

so many things.

Sometimes I feel like blogging. Like now. I should be doing my homework, but I know for a fact that I won't til tomorrow evening, and then I'll stress out about it. I am such a procrastinator.

Anyways. You know when you have like a million thoughts in your head and you just want to get them all out? I have about 8 different things floating in my head that I could be writing about, but if I put it all into one entry it might be too crazy. Hm. Whatever.

Recently I have been feeling really great, and you know why? I'm the luckiest girl, pretty much. I have an amazing boy that treats me so sweet. So sweet. And he's 6'2-3ish.. and so when I kiss him I have to go on my tippytoes. :) Sometimes he gives me butterflies when I think of him. Like right now. We just fit. I'm glad I found him.

Alright. Enough with the moooooshy stuff!

FLOP

I haven't posted in so long. I don't even know if I have to say sorry... because I'm pretty sure that no one reads this anyways. Like I have said, I put the link on my YouTube, but I don't know about YouTube anymore.
When I first discovered my love for YT... I thought it would be a really good idea to make my own channel and make my own videos! What joy!
Then I realized that not many people like them. I don't know how else to phrase it. It's like a flop. I'm a flop. I try, but I guess I suck. Big flop.
I don't know what else to write. I thought I was in the blogging mood, but I guess I'm not.

fdfdsfjkshfjksdfysryweurkfdgsdklgsd.

last day being 17

Well, hello. I feel like I should be writing a proper blog since I always just half-ass it and write something stupid.
SO. Today is March 1st. Tomorrow is March 2nd, and you know what day that is?! My birthday! I'm sort of excited, I'm turning eighteen which is preeeetty cool. I'm still not entirely sure what I'm doing tonight for it, and I sort of wish I made plans earlier, but oh well. I also wish I could have a birthday party at my own house but since my mother is home, that would not work. Ah well, I'll have fun anyways! I think being 18 means you're legally an adult, so this marks my last day of being a "technical" teenager!
I just read the last part over, and I have said "I" many many times. That sucks. I I I I I I. All about me. That's all there is to write about. AAAAAHAWEGYFSDG.

So today, I logged onto the lovely YouTube... and saw that one of my subscriptions has a new video. I clicked on it, and watched it. It's about a market in Spain that he went to, and it looks absoloutely amazing. I want to go there, now! I want to travel. I want to go places. I recently just read 13 Little Blue Envelopes (which, by the way, is a greaaaaat book, go read it!) and it made me want to travel to Europe so badly. Like, seriously. Upon finishing it, I told my mom that next year I am going to go backpacking in Europe. I'm actually going to do it, though. The experience would be so amazing.
Anyways. My hands are freezing for some reason, and I have nothing else to write about. Sorry this is so jumbled and jumpy.

Good morninggggg all you bloggerrersssresss! Here's some simple, sweet lyrics that I am in love with.
I loved you, grey sweat pants, no make up. So perfect. Our love was comfortable and so broken in. She’s perfect, so flawless. I’m not impressed. I want you back. No, no, no, no I want you back. Want you back. Back.That you were my first love, is just dumb love. A technicality. You were ahead of me. That you were my first love, is just dumb, dumb, stupid love. A technicality. You will always be ahead of me. Oh, oh, tell me why I have to practice on you. Why I have to practice on your heart. Oh.
John Mayer is a sweetheart.

On another note, I've had enough with winter. Seriously. Enough already! Dear spring: Hurry up! My birthday is in 9 days. I'm going to be 18. I can buy lottery tickets and get really rich and move to Europe, or California. Then I'll be famous, or something.
Yeah right.

Enough for now. I'll write a real blog very soon.

Update?

I haven’t written a good blog in a while, so I figured since I have nothing better to do, I will. Plus I’m on spare at school and I’ve finished all my work and now I’m just Wikipedia-ing everything. Anyway.
There are so many people around, so I’m writing this in a word document first. Am I weird? Or is it normal to keep your blogging life completely secret? Well that’s what I do, and I think I’ve said this before, but I wouldn’t like someone I personally know reading this. Unless, you know, if I become some huge YouTube internet celeb or something. Yeah, right haha.
So, I hate writing about myself, but that’s all I can think about to write right now. My brain has turned into mush, I swear, Everytime I try to make a blog or vlog or whatever you want to call it, it’s just frustrating.

shit happens

Seriously.
That's about as blunt as I can put it.
I'm nervous, my stomach hurts. But I can't really be nervous, because I know it'll be fine.
You don't know what I'm talking about.

You can make up a story for yourself if you please. How imaginative!

And I'm sorry I haven't written in this in a while, I haven't forgotten. I just don't ever know what to write. I'll write more.
I don't even know why I said that, I'm prettty sure like nobody reads this anyways.

*Edit.. Just ignore this, I'm fine. :) hah

Hmmmm

I needed something to write about. So I thought I would write about myself.
Basically an autobiography. I don't know why, it's probably the most self-consumed thing I could do, but I want to do it.
Anyways.

My name is Cailin. I am almost eighteen and that scares me a bit, seeing as I don't feel like it at all. I was always the person who would be like "I never want to grow up." But alas, I am. I am almost legally an adult. I can vote. I don't even care about politics. I think I need to be pushed a little in the right direction, because as of right now I seem to be floating. I don't know how else I can describe it. I'm almost done highschool too, and I know I should be all excited and anxious to go to university, but I'm not really. Maybe becuase I'm not going right next year. I'll get excited soon enough. *Edit.. It's been a week or so since I started to write this, and as of right now I have no more inspiration. This is my half finished, about me.. thing. Autobiography if you will.

ohhh

I have a boyfriend! Woooahhh.
It's nearly 3am. I'm so happy I can sleep in tomorrow.

cold as numbers but let's dance.

This is just so compelling these days.
I wonder if anyone reads this. I put the link on my YouTube, so maybe someone actually does. If you are reading this, leave me a comment :)!

Hm.

i just can't keep away.

So I'm blogging again, what the hell?
I'm doing work right now though, but I can't help logging onto this stupid blog and writing pointless rambles out. Lame, I know. I just wanted to mention how retarded the weather here is right now, in Canada. About two or three weeks ago it snowed so much that the snow was almost up to my knees and now there is barely no snow at all. I can't say I mind, I'm not really a fan of winter anyways.
This was probably really boring to read, I'm sorry.
Oh, so I was just texting someone, and when I text I use T9, the easy way to type on cellphones, you know. I was trying to type "Hurry" and "guppy" came up. I understand that "guppy" and "hurry" are spelt on the same keys, but seriously who is going to use the word "guppy" before the word "hurry?"

Anyways. Back to being productive.

hello!

So I'm at school, in a study period. I have so much work to do, but no motivation to do it right now. I swear I can be productive, really!
I've been listening to Metric for the whole period. I'm glad Bryan is bringing his iPod over tonight so I can get the cd onto mine, along with some other good music. I guess I should tell you who Bryan is. We have a "thing" (heheheomggzzaweee). So if you don't know exactly what that means, you probably have an assumption, and your assumption is probably right. We like eachother. It's nice.
Anyways, I feel really awkward typing this, because I'm in a classroom with a whole bunch of people and anyone can look over at my monitor and see what I'm doing. For some reason, I like to keep my blogging kind of secretive. Not secretive really, but it's kind of a whole different "vibe" on the internet, if you know what I mean. Like, I wouldn't want my best friend reading my blog. I'm actually sort of a nerd if I think about it. Ah well.
I haven't blogge d in ages, I don't really know what to say. Which is why this entry is just a bunch of pointless rambles, but I guess that's what a blog is for, right? Nobody has to read it, if they don't want to. It gives me satisfaction.
So I guess I have nothing else to say that will be actually worthwhile.. OH! Except for the fact that I have a complete obsession with England, and British culture. I guess you could call me an Anglophile, I don't know. But the word obsession sounds kind of creepy, so uh, I have a fascination? You know what I mean.
Anyways. That's it for now. I will blog more later.

BYEEEEE.

blogwtffff!??!

So I decided I would get a new blog. I haven't blogged online like this in so long.